The Great Pizza and Ranch Tragedy of 1994

12 thoughts to “The Great Pizza and Ranch Tragedy of 1994”

    1. As a former pizza restaurant worker I can verify that pizza does indeed come via tanker truck.

      See pizza is a liquid as long as its not exposed to air or heat. Hence the need for special pizza ovens as opposed to regular ovens.

      One can transport pizza after it has solidified in the pizza oven, but it requires either immediate delivery or to be flashed-frozen then re-heated in a standard oven.

        1. I’m okay with ranch on wings or chicken or something like that, but for pizza, marinara is where it’s at. All da salty goodness

  1. It is a tragedy. Ruining a perfectly good pizza with that vile white stuff. I won’t even want that stuff on my salads let alone a pizza. The inventor of that vomit in a jar should be horse whipped then tarred and feathered and ran out of town on a rail. But whoever thought it was good idea to ruin pizza with that whale slime should be boiled in oil, or better yet boiled in that pimple puss called ranch dressing.


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