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Do not fuck her momma
It never works out when you try to abduct children at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
COOTIES ARE REAL!
No matter what she says, remember to sign the division of property!
We have to stop the army of the 12 Monkeys, I need a sample of her cooties to bring back to the future.
The lies already started, check the roots of her hair!
“If you kiss her now, all you want to do in the future is to escape and stop yourself. Lets hope I managed to do this!”
Don’t do it! She doesn’t even like Pokemon!
I know where this is headed, First your shovel, then the world!
Billy! It’s NOT a Tootsie Roll!!
That’s not a girl!!!
Don’t let Mom donate your Star Wars toys!
Grab your shit and get to Mexico! PUTIN IS ABOUT TO INVADE!
its.. not.. sand…..
“Mike! She is the one–” Too bad for Mike, the vortex collapsed before he could finish his sentence: “–that’s gonna kill you!”
Don’t follow in your family’s footsteps! Fucking your sister is not worth it!
Don’t listen to her! Get braces!
Tommy! I’m you from the future! Time is short, UNLOAD ALL YOUR BITCOINS!
Dont make a boob using sand! Think about your future MAN!
You won’t be so happy when you step barefoot on her used tampon!
How are you doing? Because I’m a potato.
Danny you’re a young man, don’t do it!
Danny! It’s future Danny! Don’t do it! Trust me, the carpet doesn’t match the drapes!
I AM YOU FROM THE FUTURE! I am here to warn you of a great danger that wipes most of earth off the face of the planet… Its name: Honey Boo Boo.
Larry Fink : Chrono-Pederast
DON’T GO BACK IN TIME, RUSS! was all me from the future managed to say before the closing vortex cut me in half.
“DON’T LEAVE ME, MELISSA! I LOVE YOU!!”
Two in the pink means one in the stink
Get away from that SAND-BOX
Quick! Steal his face! It will save you a lot of trouble!
She’s not really a toddler! She’s a midget pedophile!
“TELL HER TO SHOW YOU WHATS HERS”
“She has AIDS!!!”
Kill her! Kill her now while humanity still has a chance!
“For the love of GOD, Kill her now.”
Don’t do it, Ma and Pa! I’m a total jackass!
“Check it out, little Me: invisible guitar from the future… I’M SHREDDING IT!!”
“Don’t get into that van, little Me! THERE WAS NO FREE CANDY!!”
Timmy! The time not come back! you not come back!
BE SURE TO BUY TOONHOLE.COM COMICS(tm) WHILE THEY ARE STILL UP! I MISSED MY CHANCE AND NOW I AM MISERABLE! THAT’S TOONHOLE.COM! also turns out you’re gay
Don’t be friends with her!!! In the future she thinks Game Of Thrones isn’t a good show!!!!!
HEY! That’s MY shovel!!
You are missing Sesame Street!
She is not a girl. Worst prom ever.
Timmy, its me… you, from the future!
Do yourself a favor and get a prenuptial agreement!
Don’t be like Gary King, fucking everyone is not a way to have a life.
“Don’t try to invent a time travelling machine !!”
Run! Run away while you still can!
“Wayne! I’ve come from the future to warn you … girls are more gross than we EVER thought they were!”
“Dude, don’t waste your time! She’s a lesbian! RUN!”
Hey kids!! Want to see a dead body?!
Run Billy, run! The cops know know everything about the buried hamster and prision will make you no man!
Billy! Never stick half of your body through a time vortex! IT’S EXCRUCIATING!
I’M A FUCKING HELICOPTER MOVE
Quick, hand her to me! I need money to pay for some more drugs!
And this is how I met your mother.
“play in my sandbox” is a euphemism!
You have to stop Miley and Beiber from mating…
Terminator minus Terminator
“My anus is bleeding!”
Don’t ignore the warnings: Call a doctor if it lasts longer than 4 hours!
Her real name is not Cindy, it’s RANDY!!
An interdimensional anus is sucking me!
At least parts of Randy are 100 yard away from the children
In the future, you have no legs. just these purple lines.
Lisa, don’t change gender to be alike him!
This is life for some reason!!
There’s going to be a caption contest in 20 years! Use this entry: “There’s going to be a caption contest in 20 years! Use this entry: “There’s going to be a caption contest in 20 years! Use this entry…
Don’t do it man.. she has a penis!
THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO BURY A CAT!
When you reach China, you give them HER!
Please do not forget to tie a knot in your first condom before use it! PLEASEEEE!!!
say no! she likes strap ons!
Release me from the Friend-Zone, Mandy. It’s killing him!!
You’re gonna want to be more than just “FRIENDS” forever Sam, NO DEAL!, NO DEAL!
Stick it in her now! Before she realizes she’s out of your league!!!
Don’t get the surgery! Look what it does to my hands!!!
DO NOT POKE HOLES IN THE CONDOM. TURNS OUT, COLLEGE WILL GET YOU LAID.
“Remember me as I was. Delete my browsing history!!”
“The local pedophile lives under this sand box! That’s no sand castle!”
Buy bitcoins, buy bitcoins now!
I am your future self……fuck her now before she becomes used goods…!!!
SHE GOT THE SUPER AIDS SON!
Im you from the future. SHE HAS A PENIS!
Don’t get that surgery on your buck teeth! It only makes it WORSE!
This is the 90s… We want our shirt back…
DON’T BECOME A CARTOONIST!
You kids want some candy? I’ve got some inside this portal of mine!
Try thinking with portals they said!
Ryan Kramer? I’m you from the future! You suck at drawing comics! Get a job at Starbucks!
Believe me, get a vasectomy, you’ll thank me later.
Billy, daddy has to go away for a long time now. The dark lord Cthulhu approaches. Tell mom I̛ ͏͚͍͉͉͇l̡̜̤̠͎͈̩ͅo̪͇͠v̩̯̭̭͓e̯̹͍̝̼͟ ͈͕͚͓̲̫h̙̜̖̪e̲r͕͝
THAT’S NOT A SANDCASTLE! IT’S HER MONSTER PENIS!!
“come along ponds”
“I am you from the future, run now before it turns into a weird 3 some with your dad and her using a strap on!”
Lil dude, do NOT show her that thing on your back.
Drop the bitch! She’ll financially ruin you!!
Also, could I have dollar?
Webtoons are not as profitable as you think!
Quick! grab her a boob and run!!
‘Oh God, Lucy, you’re just as hot as I remember!!!’
Get away from her!! She’s the one that turns you straight!!
Dude! She’s really your sister! Ask mom and save your future!
MY SON DOES LOOK LIKE AN ASS!
She’s pregnant, Billy! RUN! Oh wait, i’m a bit early.
Divorce now while it is costless!
She’s not really on the pill!
“Quick! Push her in the dirt now so she’ll think you’re a bad boy, or you’ll always be in her Friend Zone!”
” Don’t Eat the Sand!”
Whatever you do, DO NOT put the frog down her shirt! The future is counting on you!
Help me! I am one of the passengers on Malaysia Airliner!
For chrissake, learn how to do the shocker before prom night or she’ll leave you!
man: i’m you from the future kiss her now
boy :but she has cooties
man : do it now before …
We are still virgins! So don’t screw this up!
Use a condom!!!!
Just remember: syphilis is NOT a Pokemon!
Do NOT get the top halves of your bodies joined together. Relationships are incredibly boring that way.
CHARLIE! I’m you from the future! Have sex with her before she looses weight and turns super hot!! Or we’ll be virgins forever!!!
Billy!, I know you want to get laid that sandy vagina ruins your dick forever!
STAY AWAY FROM UNCLE RON!!!
Don’t bother with the prenup! Half of nothing is still nothing!
“FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, GET IT CIRCUMCISED!!”
Billy, kill yourself before you have to grow up!
WHY DOES YOUR NOSE LOOK LIKE A JELLY BEAN?!
Billy! I am your father!
“she invents the time machine!! DON’T SCREW THIS UUUUUP!!”
yOU’LL BE THE DEATH OF MEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Stop abusing time travel asshole!
Help! Pink flying glow-worms are eating my flesh!
Wait, I can phrase that better:
“Beware the flesh-eating flying pink glow-worms.”
Help me younger looking twin brother! My body is being absorbed by a pink vortex!
Jimmy…no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, and for the love of all that is good and holy…she doesn’t even like Star Wars.
Run away! In next 20 years she will become a Republican!
Billy! We came too early! Wait… I think I came too early.
Run Forest! Ruuuun!
NEVER DIVIDE BY ZERO!
“No, YOU’RE THE WHORE!”
-Dr. Jimmy Fisher, Inventor of Time Travel; only man to ever have the First & Last Word in a relationship.
Don’t Share your snack with her, you’ll still be hungry later!
SHIT, THIS ISN’T THE GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM!
Don’t invent that time machine, never ever….
She has been cheating all along
Her dick is bigger than yours!
Kill her! KILL HER WITH FIRE!!
“Is this the 90’s? Please tell me it’s the 90’s.”
Always delete your browser history!
Leave the drums, guitars will get you laid!
As soon as you lose two fingers when making a time machine she will divorce you!
I am your lovable OCD self from the future with an urgent mess… O MY GOD! THE SWINGS ARE NOT THE SAME HEIGHT! NO THEY ARE PULLING ME BACK BUT GOD THE SWINGS! NOOOOoooo!
SHES YOUR HALF SISTER. DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER.
“For our sake, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!”
Don’t say yes when offered a time machine in exchange for taking it up the ASS! ARGHHHH!!!! He’s still in me!!!
JOEY!! RUN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!! SHE’S GONNA PUT YOU IN THE FRIENDZONE!
Whatever you do – Do not go to Neverland Ranch!
Start thinking of something clever to say on Toonhole’s first caption contest, you might win something this time!!
I’m obligated to inform you that I am a registered sex offender.
IT’S NOT A SANDBOX!!
You can bury the evidence, but you can’t bury the guilt!
Dump her before she dumps you for me !
“For God Sakes, take education seriously!”
She has a Penis!
The lottery numbers are… *portal closes*
“WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T SUCK THE GUY’S DICK, HE WILL NOT PAY YOU ONE MILLION DOLLARS..or buy you a bucket of KFC”
20 years from now we’re still a virgin who’s never seen real boob. For the love of god, make sure she shows you first!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if she wants to show you My Little Pony, don’t take any of the toys out of the original packaging!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! WEAR A CONDOM!!!
GET YOUR TEETH FIXED BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! YOU’LL PUNCTURE HER PUSSY AND KILL HER IF YOU DON’T!
FOCUSP ON FIXPHXING YOUR LISP!
Timmy, I’m you from the future. I’ve come to warn you not to waste your time reading Toonhole. Also, that bitch has herpes.
Whatever you do, don’t let her use the strap-on!
LOVING THESE! Keep em coming, everybody! 😀
Toonhole.com is having this exact situation put in comic form, think of a humorous caption for it!
Ryan at toonhole has a really strange asshole!
Would you spare a moment to hear about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?
(Hm, weird, one of my comments went as a reply to another, must have hit something wrong. Oh well, kinda hard to type with giant sharp claws you know. Anyhoo, here’s another caption: )
-Don’t let her put on your condom, do it yourself!!!
Timmy, whatever you do, don’t go near the black rabbit with a white face!! It’s Slen-*sllluuurp-pop!*
(Why yes, I am shamelessly promoting myself, why ever do you ask? <3)
“SHE’LL NEVER SHOW YOU HERS!!!”
You can’t tell me to leave! I’m your conjoined twin!
“DON’T TRUST HER – IT’S NOT REALLY A CAKE!”
I also like Ameer’s “cooties are real”
Hurry! You won’t have another chance to kiss a girl
from here 15 years dont cum inside of her, will ruin your life
Take her shovel, if you want to live!!!
Don’t let her screw up our arms!
The day Jimmy became an alcoholic.
‘Login Security Questions’
For the love of GOD! What’s your goldfish’s name!!!
goldfish name should be the winner
‘Bobby, you gotta listen, do NOT grow up!’
Oops, forgot I had pressed ‘reply’ to this. Great work Eric 😛
Wormholes can be created by packing sand.
Stop Billy she’s our daughter… I really screwed up
Oh God why’d I ask for 50% off
Don’t get invested in LOST it ruins your life!!
Justin Beiber’s a cannibal tell everyone before it’s to late!!
Bring condoms to prison !!!
Fuck you, kids I don’t know!
Timmy! Today, a man will invite you into his van for candy. Don’t go in! He only has Tootsie Rolls!!!
Don’t shake it more than twice!!!
FIX THOSE TEETH
“NOW KISS”, said the time traveling autopedophile.
Jimmy! Don’t EVER build the fucking time machine.
“Do NOT invent facebook Mark! Do not invent facebook! “
The secret is to add water to the sand first!
do not masturbate in front of her, she will be hot in the future.
“Sorry about my Dad, he’s half wormhole half having a seizure.”
Marty, we have to go back to the future!
Wanna come to the future? I have candy!
Never accept anal sex with her!!!
Don’t let her talk you into anal sex! It’s not the way you think it is!!!
She’s nothing but a sand-digger, Billy!
She’s a pedophile!
O’YEAH, well you’re a Bitch! Aw shit, TOO far.
Same guy revise via email:
“Oh yeah, well you’re a bitc… too far. Shit!”
For the love of God, don’t watch Ben Affleck’s Batman!
I am you from four years in the future! We don’t have much time! Buy time travel insurance.
This isn’t a portal, it’s a broken string! Stop the Large Hadron Collider!
Rikki don’t loose that number! It’s the only one you own!
“In the future guitars are invisibleeee!”
Half-bottom-time-machine would bring much more fun and it’s a better idea than this!
For the love of God – GO TO THE ORTHODONTIST!
“Oh God, that’s not a girl…. She’s raping me, for the love of God r
Get out of here, that’s not a girl… “she’s”raping me!
That girl’s been painted white, she’s actually a nigger! Get away from her!
You want to not live with your mom AND draw comics in the future? YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH RYAM!
There wiil be more than 2000 pokemon
DON’T MARRY HER! SHE’S A DUDE!
Rage comics and memes have ruined the internet
sobbing “She’s not MIster Bucket! She’s not buckets of fun!!!”
Damn! Wrong address! I was looking for George Lucas to stop the abomination that is JarJar Binks from ever happening. You’ll thank me later.
Dad is dead, don’t leave mom alone with uncle Ned.
Don’t do it! She got cooties!
‘Benefits of time travel #11231’
Dude, I’ve got a list of all the winning Toonhole captions!
Pinch the tip and cup the balls.
Help! My therapist asks about my childhood. I need details.
Why didn’t I contact myself at an age that would remember this meessssaaaage?!?!
Run you fools…
“They know about the cocaine! They’re going to kill everyone. There is so much blood. They- Oh, this isn’t last week… ummm, you kids having fun?”
“Run from her! It’s friendzone, I tell ya!”
“THE CAKE IS A LIE!”
Billy! I’m here to warn you! That’s your sister!
Billy it’s you from the future. Don’t eat the sand!!
Eddie’s first attempt at a 4th dimensional structure in sand didn’t end so well.
Don’t eat the Burritos at Doc Brown’s yard party.
Run!!!! There’s a Sarlacc egg about to hatch in that sandbox!!!
Dye your hair!
“Do it now that you can’t go to jail!”
“You’re in for some heartbreak when you catch her swinging with Johnny!”
Santa is not real!
Invisobol sammich from the future.
Blonds and Gingers don’t mix…
IT’S ME/YOU FROM THE FUTURED AND I’M STUCK IN THE FUTURE-PAST TIME TRAVEL BECAUSE OF THIS DUMB BLONDE (no discrimination against blondes or anything, seriously)
“This is how much of a Doctor Who fan you will become!”
Stop!! She DOES have cooties!!
Oh please don’t do it wrong this time, she’s the only woman you will have contact
Hey! It’s MY turn this time!
“Kid, I’m you from the future. You are going to learn to read today but don’t stop hanging out with girls to read comics!”
“Orthodontists are your friends, Timmy!”
“Always wear a condom! ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!”
“SUGAR!! ME NEED SUGAR!”
SHE IS YOUR SISTER!!!
Playing in the cats’ sand box will demolish your body.
in the future, you get cut in half trying to time travel.